Best Week Ever!!

hey guys, i wanted to quote what whomever it was said about justin timberlake being hit in the face with the lunch meat on the best week ever that i just saw today (i am not sure if it was actually the one for this week or not...)

but he said something like:

if you bring sexy back and dont tell anyone where you took it or what you did with it, youre going to get slapped in the face with lunch meat...

does anyone know if this was quoted right? and who said it?

thanks :)

She's smart. She's funny. And this Saturday she will be at the UCB Theatre.

Pop culture pundit Rachael Harris will be joining us fresh from the hot seat of VH1 to be the guest monologist on our stage this Saturday. Based on an audience suggestion, Rachael will tell impromptu monologues which will inspire the Upright Citizens Brigade and friends (including performers from Mad TV, Late Night with Conan O'Brien and other VH1 pundits) as they do a fully improvised, never-been-seen-before, never-to-be-seen-again show.

And you thought Saturdays were so over.

ASSSSCAT with Rachael Harris
Saturday, December 17th at 8pm ($8)
make reservations online now



Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre
5919 Franklin Avenue, Hollywood, CA 90028
www.ucbtheatre.com | 323.908.8702
ALL AGES | street parking | valet only $3.50

Paul Scheer and Jack McBrayer

Paul is in LA for good and will be a more regular fixture at UCBTLA. Be sure to check him out in these upcoming shows:


SEE CULTURE VULTURES -- THE UCB'S TOP POP CULTURE GAME SHOW
Have you ever wanted to be on a game show?... Here's your chance!

Culture Vultures is a fast-paced pop culture game show that combines elements of Jeopardy, Double Dare and Remote Control. Contestants battle together to see who knows more useless facts and trivia about everything from the Lost castaways to R. Kelly's "Trapped in the Closet." In addition to showing off their trivia prowess, every contestant also has to perform along side our sketch performers in specially designed performance challenges. When it's all over there will only be one true Culture Vulture.

6 people will be chosen from the audience! Plus prizes!

BEAST is a monthly show with a new theme each month.

Featuring: Paul Scheer, Jack McBrayer, Owen Burke and more!

BEAST presents: Culture Vultures
Wednesday, November 16 at 9:30pm ($5)
Make reservations online now!


SEE MY SPACE AND LET UCB DECIDE IF YOUR PROFILE RULES OR SUCKS

Does your Myspace profile rule or suck?
How many friends do you have?
Who is the weirdest one?
Have you ever gotten laid because of your profile?

These are just a few of the questions we ask in an interactive improv form where we examine the MySpace profiles of 3 different audience members and create long form scenes based on the information explored with them.

My Space. Your Space. Our Space.

Bring your screenname and see if you measure up!

Performed by the Gunslingers: Owen Burke, Chad Carter, Rob Huebel, Rob Riggle, and Paul Scheer

My Space
Monday, November 21 at 9:30pm ($5)
Make reservations online now!


Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre
5919 Franklin Avenue, Hollywood, CA 90028
www.ucbtheatre.com | 323.908.8702
ALL AGES | street parking | valet only $3.50

Paul Scheer makes a triumphant return to LA in THE KING OF TV SHOW at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in Los Angeles this Thursday, October 13 at 8pm! Tickets only FIVE DOLLARS!

The King of TV Show, hosted by Paul Goebel (the King himself) uses a talk show format to interview famous faces from tv, past and present. The interviews provide little-known facts about these celebrities, stories from their lives and a chance to "meet" them in an informal setting. David Cross says, "I had a great time."

THE KING OF TV SHOW at the
UPRIGHT CITIZENS BRIGADE THEATRE IN LOS ANGELES
Thursday, October 13 at 8pm ($5)

RANDY ("Emergency") MANTOOTH
ANDY ("Less than Perfect") DICK
SHERRI ("Less than Perfect") SHEPHERD
ANDREA ("Less than Perfect") PARKER
PAUL ("Best Week Ever") SCHEER
GRAHAM ("Kent Stryker") ELWOOD

co-host JIM BRUCE

Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre
5919 Franklin Avenue
Hollywood, CA 90028

make reservations online now at www.ucbtheatre.com
tickets only $5 | all ages | street parking | valet only $3.50

Keep an eye on our online schedule as Paul and other Best Week Ever favorites regularly perform at our new LA theatre.

This Tuesday, September 20 at 8:30pm, three of your Best Week Ever favorites share the stage at the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in Los Angeles. Doug Benson, Greg Fitzsimmons and Paul F. Tompkins are just three comics in UCB Theatre's next Comedy Death-Ray (dubbed the "it stand-up night" by LA Weekly). All ages! Tickets only five dollars!

COMEDY DEATH-RAY at the
UPRIGHT CITIZENS BRIGADE THEATRE IN LOS ANGELES
Tuesday, September 20 at 8:30pm ($5)

Graham Elwood's "JOKE-JITSU!"

This Tuesday, prepare yourself for an evening combining the martial arts and comedy! Join Graham and his trusty aide HAWK in a fast-fisted night that Paul F. Tompkins calls "delightfully irritating!" This you won't want to miss!

With his special guests...

Paul F. TOMPKINS!
Doug BENSON!
Chris FAIRBANKS!
Greg FITZSIMMONS!
Michelle BILOON!
AND Ian EDWARDS!

Also! Dropins? Extra-special guests? You never know with CDR!

Reserve tickets now >>

Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre | www.ucbtheatre.com
5919 Franklin Avenue, Hollywood CA 90028 | 323.908.8702

At the Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre in Los Angeles:

VH1'S BEST WEEK EVER LIVE!
For two nights only, see Best Week Ever's top panelists slice and dice their way through the week's big stories in pop culture. They won't have the crutch of basic cable production values -- it's nothing but raw nerve and sharp wit live on stage.



Monday, August 15 at 8pm ($5)
Starring: Doug Benson, Paul Scheer, Danielle Schneider and Paul F. Tompkins

Wednesday, August 17 at 11pm ($5)
Starring: Christian Finnegan, Greg Fitzsimmons, Paul Scheer and Danielle Schneider

Reserve tickets now >>

Upright Citizens Brigade Theatre | www.ucbtheatre.com
5919 Franklin Avenue, Hollywood CA 90028 | 323.908.8702

here are my favorite jokes of the most recent episodes (not quotes cause my memory's not thaaat good :P)

--there's jessica alba, jessica biel, baby jessica from the well--she has to be 18 by now. (for nick because of his alleged marriage troubles with jessica)

--unless you've been trapped under geraldo rivera's mustache all day... (i think that's his name...)

--(referring to jen's joke about billy idol wanting his style back from brad) david spade called and his wants his joke back

BWE is taking a break until September 16!!! How will we get our weekly news reports along with jokes! :(
What do you guys have to say....

Are there any torrents out there for BWE episodes? I just moved out of my dorm and don't have cable in my new home, so torrents would be handy.

Thanks.

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